RSD – Successfully Approach Girls Who Are With Guys

By Jeffy “Jlaix”, Executive Coach for Real Social Dynamics

Hi, Friend.

Ok, so today we’re gonna take another magical journey

into the old RSD Mailbag. Let’s do it…

*** QUESTION ***

Hey man, I’ve been in field a lot so don’t mix this

post up of a newbie since I’ve done my fair share of

approaches and know a lot of game.

My issue is that my results are very inconsistent.

Like I will isolate sometimes and then it will take

a while for it to happen again. I will get girls

asking questions and then it won’t happen for a

while. By the way, I’ve done about 99% cold

approaches and just about 5 social circle ones.

So my question is this. I have a very strong field

intuition now and I’m getting non-verbal indicators

of interest (standard feet pointing toward me,

leaning in, paying attention, giggling, etc.) but for

some reason, I’m not getting any verbal indicators of

rapport. I will get body language cues but rarely

any verbal “how old are you?” “what’s your name?”

etc. Is this simply a miscalibration or is it because

their buying temperature not high enough to seek it

verbally?

The reason I ask is this question has been lingering

on my mind for ages and I have been going in,field

trying to fix it up but to no avail. I don’t want a

Blind leading blind situation so your help will be

greatly appreciated. Thanks.

-Seifer

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Okay. Having not seen your game in person, I’m forced

to make certain assumptions based on what you’ve said.

First of all, I worry that you’re overly concerned

with playing the buying temperature game.

What I mean by this is something we call “outcome

dependence”.

Somebody who is outcome dependent is SEEKING

attraction. This can lead to a scenario where you

end up trying harder and harder to generate those

indicators you’re looking for by spitting more and

more game.

It’s like, “Oh, I spit my tightest line and it didn’t

work… quick, spit another before she loses interest

… oh shit, that didn’t work either… spit

another, another!!!”

The end result? The chick becomes interested all

right… ’cause you’re her entertainment for the

night.

She has no real interest in hooking up with you, but

you’re an amusing “dancing monkey” for her and her

friends.

While it may be entertaining, the bottom line is: no

chick wants to bang a monkey. Unless they have some

seriously weird fetish.

So yeah, they’ll show indicators of interest to keep

you around, but when closing time rolls around it’s,

“Nice to meet you! Bye bye!”

Just another example of how CARING about the outcome

of the interaction causes you to fail. Ironic.

Another possible explanation that comes to mind would

be that you’re not moving the set forward.

Are you escalating things once the set is obviously

open to your presence? Or do you just stand there

spinning your wheels, bombarding them with attract

material long past the point where they’re interested?

Indicators of interest are just that: they tell you

they are INTERESTED, nothing more.

Remember, it’s YOUR responsibility to escalate. These

girls aren’t gonna do it for you, except in RARE

instances.

So, given these possible explanations, I’m gonna

prescribe the following:

FIRST. Do everything you can to avoid the dancing

monkey trap. That means using the least amount of

high octane material possible to get them interested.

Use some right off the bat, after your opener, to get

them hooked. After that, use it sparingly, as a tool

to spike the energy of the interaction when you sense

it’s waning.

You want the girls to be CONTRIBUTIVE. In other words,

not just standing there listening to you and laughing.

You still want to lead and direct the conversation,

but you need to make sure that it is in fact a

CONVERSATION, not just you giving a stand-up routine.

SECONDLY. Make sure you have a definite idea where

you’re at and where you want to go, then make sure

that you’re constantly moving things in that direction,

slowly but surely.

Again, once you’ve hooked them, start getting

physical (by degrees). Simultaneously, start building

rapport, both wide and deep. A lot of guys think of

the seduction process as being very linear, like

“Attract-Then Build Comfort-Then Get Physical”. What

they don’t realize is that these things must happen

concurrently during the interaction, in harmony.

Anyway, if you’re just pumping buying temperature,

it’s hard for them to take you seriously… you

become a sort of cartoon character.

Your comment about miscalibration isn’t off the mark.

Pay more attention to how you’re emotionally affecting

the girls, and realize that at some point, you

actually have to stop playing a character and CONNECT

with them on some level.

Once you do that, you’ll start getting those verbal

indicators of rapport. At that point, get them into

isolation and GO TO WORK.

Hope that helps… cheers.

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

I took the seminar.

The social dynamics learned at the seminar can

be applied anywhere, even though there was an obvious

focus on women. I’ve been getting more respect from

friends, peers, and coworkers, since taking the

program. Hell, even drivers give me more respect.

Someone will try to cut me off, then I’ll look at

him like “Yes?” and he’ll back off and signal for me

to drive ahead of him.

It sounds crazy but my model of the world and

myself has completely changed since the seminar. Any

abuse anyone has ever given me has been reframed and

is no longer held in my memories as painful or

degrading.

The segments on “out-alphaing” are worth it

alone. How would you like to be able to defend

yourself against ANYONE making fun of you EVER

again? Yeah, it sounds like I’m exaggerating, but

the stuff they teach is full proof.

If any of you were picked on in high school or

middle school or whatever, you HAVE to take this

program. It’ll reframe your past experiences so

they’re no longer painful, plus you’ll understand

why it happened and why it has nothing to do with

your value as a person. I had been to therapy off

and on for years and nothing has given me as much

personal change and growth as this weekend.

The more time passes, the more I continue to grow

from this experience. I’m getting more realizations

and epiphanies as the weeks go on. I’ve taken another

seminar where I received personal change work

hypnosis, and RSD blows it completely out of the

water in terms of your personal change and growth.

If you’re not successful with women, you always

wonder if you look good enough. My belief before

was “I’m not good looking enough to get girls

without doing any game.” My belief now is “I’m good

looking, but that’s not enough to get laid, I need

game too.” What a reframe, huh.

On the subject of looks, another major epiphany

is your realization that you don’t’ need great (or

even good) looks to get laid. A couple instructors

had some extra gut baggage, most were average looking,

a few good looking guys, and a couple below average.

The best guys weren’t necessarily the best looking

either. If you want to get over your looks concerns

go to RSD. You’ll realize your looks are definitely

good enough to get the job done once you get your

game in place.

Overall, this is an awesome experience and

you all should go. It’ll be a while before I go to

another workshop/seminar because I’m still seeping

everything I learned. It’s an intense weekend for

sure.

- Dan A., San Diego

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Dude, I think I’m one of the instructors that you

refer to as “having extra gut baggage”, so I had to

laugh at that… but yeah, looks actually matter far

less than one might suspect. This has been

detrimental to my health in some ways, because the

fact that I’ve been with some extremely hot girls in

spite of my beer gut kind of takes away some of the

motivation to work out.

All kidding aside, I’m really glad to hear that the

program has paid such dividends in your life. I hear

the same comments from a lot of guys as well.

It’s interesting that you refer to the “out-

alphaing” segments of the program in the context of

being made fun of in high school. Somebody once

suggested that we start a separate program on

verbal jousting just for high school kids.

Interesting too that you talk about experiencing a

continual growth, weeks after having taken the

program. This is by design.

We plant the seeds and give you the tools, then set

you loose on the world. After that, it’s all up to

you.

Take care Dan, and keep it up.

*** QUESTION ***

Jeffy,

I’ve been in the game for about four months now and

I feel like I’m having some decent success. I’ve

always been pretty good (decent) with women so I think

I have a lot of potential to get good pretty quick..

But my question is this.. when I’m at the club, I can

approach groups of girls no problem, and even groups

of girls and guys no problem. But for some reason , I

freeze up when I see a two set of one girl and one

guy. I don’t know why, but I can’t approach those

sets. Maybe cause it seems like they’re more

intimate or something. I dont know.

What’s the best way to approach these kinds of sets?

- Rick B.

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Rick. Listen. These guy-girl two sets are often my

FAVORITES to approach, because it’s so easy to get

attraction. A lot of times, guys see these sets

and assume they’re a couple. Funny thing is, 90% of

the time, it’s not their boyfriend, but some random

guy they just met, or a co-worker, or their brother,

etc. etc.

When opening these sets, you can do one of several

things.

You can work the guy and ignore the girl.

OR, you can work the guy until he’s commited to not

having a prob with you being there and then move to

the girl (this should take only seconds to 1 minute).

OR you can blow the guy out completely (this last

one is easily done when you are ‘alpha’, because the

girls give you so much attention so quickly, that

the guys just give up and walk away with their tail

between their legs).

I use all three, by using common sense.

Sometimes, guys ask me what is better, going to the

target or engaging the whole group. The answer is to

use your brain and common sense. Imagine that.

Do what is natural and the path of least resistance

in the particular situation.

The only rule of pickup is to be clearly cooler than

the girl.

That being the case, take the path of least social

resistance, based on what you can tell will

obviously work.

Many of the “rules” of pickup are generalities and

ideas that are intended to make things run more

smoothly, but always need to be moderated by common

sense.

My personal most common approach on guy/girl mixed

sets is to engage the group, but the second the guy

gives tacit consent to me being there, I blow him

out on the spot and engage the girl directly.

This takes only seconds.

Typically I prefer for him to stay there, because I

can eclipse him so strongly that him sitting there

watching me only increases my status.

This is like striking out like a tiger or something.

Like seriously, you go in and come across way cooler

than the guy within seconds, and the instant that he

obviously is lower than you he is tooled and you cut

into the girl and go for it.

Still, if I see the girl is going crazy getting all

wet by me ignoring her, I’ll keep it up. Some girls

are just like that, and if I see it I calibrate by

playing it out.

Or the dude may be just a cool guy, in which case

I’ll hang with him and I know he’ll hook me up

(which has happened to me many times). I use common

sense.

Have I mentioned common sense?

__________________________________________________

Take Control Of Your Social Life TODAY.

__________________________________________________

We’ve got some new dates up on the schedule for

our Personalized Workshops and Bootcamps. If you

really want to take your game to the next level in

the shortest amount of time possible, our live,

in-field programs are the way to go.

Over the course of the weekend, you’ll be immersed

in a hard-core learning environment from start to

finish. We give you the tools you need to get girls

attracted to you FAST, and the skills and self-

confidence you need to convert that attraction into

something more.

Each night, you’ll take those skills into the field

with the RSD Executive Coaches. You’ll do interaction

after interaction, pushing further and further past

your limits, with the Executive Coaches there to

guide you every step of the way.

Our bulletproof system is the final product of years

of fine-tuning, polishing, and perfecting. It’ll

increase your success beyond what you thought

imaginable. And it’ll empower you to approach anyone,

anywhere, and break the tension and build rapport,

while sounding like an old pro.

Knowing what to do and when to do it can shave YEARS

off of your learning curve. That’s YEARS of crash &

burns you won’t have to endure, YEARS of going home

alone you won’t have to suffer through.

Why go through all that when you can have the life you

want NOW?

If you’re thinking that this is something you want

to take care of TODAY, and not MONTHS or YEARS from

now, then check out our schedule and sign up for

your live program right now by clicking here:

www.realsocialdynamics.com/seminars.asp

During your personalized bootcamp, you’ll be pushed to your

limits…

Then you’ll be pushed some more!

And the entire time, the RSD executive coaches will be there,

not only to provide you with intensely detailed feedback and

suggestions, but also to demonstrate what is REALLY possible.

To learn more about RSD Personalized Bootcamps, visit:

www.realsocialdynamics.com/bootcamps.asp

This is an investment that pays dividends for a LIFETIME.

Well, it’s about that time of the day when I go through

my phone and make my nightly calls, so I’m gonna end

this issue right about here. Thanks again for reading

our newsletter. See you next time.

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach

REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

PS…Do you have any questions or success stories that

you’d like to see in this newsletter? Email them to

me at jlaix@realsocialdynamics.com and I’ll answer

them personally. I’ll provide the solution to any

challenge you can possibly put to me. Remember: even

if an obstacle seems “big” to you, our team has

probably faced it hundreds of times, so we can solve

it in a SNAP.

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____________________________________________________

Jeffy is an
Executive Coach for Real Social Dynamics. He has dated some of the world’s most desired women and travels around the world as a date coach for clients while teaching seminars on how to do the same. Real Social Dynamics have conducted Live Programs for thousands of clients, including Fortune 500 executives, celebrities, college students and professionals, from over 30 different countries. _________________________________________________________________

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