RSD - Move Things Forward & Get Her Alone

By Jeffy “Jlaix”, Executive Coach for Real Social Dynamics
Greetings, Friend!

Today we’re gonna dip into the ol’ RSD Mailbag and

answer some questions, hear some success stories, you

know how we do it.

So without any further ado, let’s go to our first

caller…

*** QUESTION ***

to whom it may concern:

Yo, looking for a little help. So I have come a long

way recently. My fear of approach at clubs is almost

gone, street feels strange though. I feel like I may be

ready for a bootcamp.

I don’t feel like bootcamp will be affective unless I

get my sets down solid.

My current set basically amounts to this:

Attraction (good days)

Qualify (marginal)

Rapport (total crap)

My body language is good. I can get into set pretty

well.

In fact I get some assumed “secret society” status,

which I can hold with mostly body language.

Later I’ll screw it up with poor escalation.

I guess my pluses are that I can get attraction well

and pass most early shit tests.

I think my rapport skills are shit and my qualify

routine is marginal. I also need help as to when and

how to escalating physically. Closing, whether it be

number, kiss or full monty is WEAK!

My biggest problem is I get deep into set and then sort

of flounder.

I am in, well liked by peer group, sort of fail to

isolate and close.

Thanks for the help-

mark

P.S. After rereading this I maybe over representing my

skillset, my comments are based on good sets, not on

total blowouts. -sorry

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

LOL… don’t apologize. Nobody’s perfect, even the best among

us get blown out from time to time.

The most important thing to remember is that this is a

skill like any other, and it takes time to build. To

use an old cliche, it’s not a destination, it’s a

journey. It sounds nutty, but enjoy those blowouts

while you can… I look back at some of my early crash

& burns with a sort of amused nostalgia.

Anyways, don’t assume that a bootcamp would be

ineffective just because you’re not at an advanced

level. At the beginning of the programs, the Executive

Coaches assess your skill level and tailor the

instruction to your particular needs. Whether you’re

a total newbie or relatively advanced, you’ll see

improvements after the program.

So now onto your question.

Sounds like you may be seeing things as being a little

too linear. For example, you’re saying that you’re sets

are: 1. Attract 2. Qualify 3. Rapport.

Here’s the thing… while those things do need to

happen in that chronological order TO SOME EXTENT,

they’re actually all happening CONCURRENTLY.

In other words, you need to be doing all three AT THE

SAME TIME. When I go in, I’m sparking attraction, gaining

rapport, and escalating physically SIMULTANEOUSLY.

It might seem like it’s kind of hard to juggle all these

things at once, but once you get the hang of it, it’s

really not that difficult.

Think of it as being a symphony conductor, blending all

the elements together in harmony.

Now, there’s something else that I think might be going

on here.

When I hear guys say things like, “I get attraction but

can’t escalate,” and then I observe them in the field,

nine times out of ten it’s the same thing.

The fact of the matter is the guy isn’t even TRYING to escalate.

Like, they’ll sit there and run attract material for forty

minutes without even establishing BASIC physical

contact, touching her arm or high fiving her for example.

Or they’re standing three feet away from her like it’s a

Jr. High school dance.

A lot of times these problems stem from feelings of

undeservedness, or from not wanting to blow the set when

they’ve gotten good reactions so far.

Listen, man, if you open a girl at a club and she sits

and talks to you for thirty minutes without getting

distracted and leaving, that’s a major indicator of

interest.

These girls aren’t stupid… they know what’s

going on and have a reasonable expectation that you are

gonna step up and take responsibility for escalating

things. Very rarely are THEY gonna do it for you.

What’s worse is, once you have attraction, there’s a

very small window of time in which you can escalate.

Once that’s passed, GAME OVER buddy.

So my advice to you? Step it up. Push the envelope of

what you think is possible… you’ll probably be

surprised.

Another big mistake a lot of guys make is TOO MUCH

GROUP BEFRIENDING.

Yes, it’s important to gain the trust and admiration of her

friends, but once you have it, MOVE ON. Isolate her from

the peer group at the earliest opportunity. “Can I borrow

your friend for a second?” usually works for me.

Then I take her to a more quiet area of the club and

run a quick rapport bit to set the new tone (usually

The Cube, do a search for this “ancient personality

test”), and then just shift gears into deep and wide

rapport, storytelling and the like, while simultaneously

upping the physical ante.

Next thing you know, I’m going for the kiss/venue change/

extraction… whichever seems appropriate.

Hope that helps you out, man.

Moving on…

*** SUCCESS STORY ***

Thought I’d chime in because I just completed the

course with RSD in Montreal.

My skill is very much improved from taking the course,

and I have a direction and understanding that I didn’t

have before. It was well structured, and everyone got

direct attention and feedback in their interactions.

I finally got to see the types of skilled pickups that

I’d read about. It was nothing like I’ve ever see from

my natural friends, who are also very good in their own

right and I’ve learned a lot from them too.

The RSD guys are in a league of their own though.

The instructors would tell me exactly how to approach,

whisper into my ear what to say, and fix my body

language, right in set IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS!

The girls never noticed, and as soon as the corrections

were made they would really open up.

Then they would show the next one themselves, and

they’d do what they’d showed me and it would work for

them too.

Then they’d push another student in, and breakdown to

all of us what they were doing right and wrong while we’d

watch, and then go in and fix it and whisper what to say to them.

Progressively, everyone’s skill was getting better.

They carefully coaxed a lot of very shy guys into sets,

and helped them quite a bit although I’m sure they’d

need a lot of work.

Some of these guys were really hard cases. You’d never

think to see them holding the attention of anyone, and they were

doing it.

Others were pretty good coming in, and those guys

were seeing major improvements and really heating things up.

I actually watched Tyler walk right up to a couple who

were making out, and say “MAY I CUT IN”, as a joke.

He figured out the girl had just met the guy (he later

said because she was enjoying it too much), took her

from him, and then kissed her within 3 minutes and took

her number while the much bigger and better looking

guy just sat there in shock.

I was disgusted!

The whole group was great, too. I heard two students

give reports that they got laid at the end of the night,

and one of them was very shy.

Many students with no skill got tonguedowns and phone

numbers, and all of them seemed a lot more confident.

I can’t imagine that anyone wouldn’t take a lot from the program.

- Slo, Montreal, Canada

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Cool stuff. I was in Montreal on program last summer,

and I thought it was a really awesome city, in spite of

(or maybe because of) the fact that all I did for the

entire trip was go to clubs and meet girls.

It’s always encouraging when I hear about guys walking

away from the programs with a noticeably improved social

intelligence and direction.

Like I was saying earlier, regardless of the level of

skill you have going in to the program, by the end of

the weekend you’re going to see major improvements. Guys

who are novices will typically be opening sets regularly,

intermediate guys will be able to build attraction on a

consistent basis, and advanced students will see their

game refined to top level.

Moreover, the programs are intensely fun.

That whole “may I cut in” bit, we do retarded stuff like

that all the time, just to clown around and keep everyone

amused.

Anyways, rock on… keep going out and keep building on

that foundation you got at the program.

*** QUESTION ***

Dear pimp,

Hi. I’m from a very VERY conservative Christian

family with very conservative values. One of those

was “Do Not CUSS!” Alright, I swear a little now, but

to be honest, do you know what it’s like to be ONE way

your whole life, and then change? I’ll get to the

point. . .

When and when do you not swear to/with a girl?

What does it communicate? What does it not

communicate? When is it bad? When is it useful?

Could you just rant about that? Or have somebody else

do it?

Look, I’m from Arkansas. The Bible belt. I just

graduated from a VERY conservative and strict-ruled

Christian college. I’m not sure you would understand,

but please try! Please! My hero!!

I wuv you you sexy man meat,

Jon

>>>>>> MY REPLY:

Uhh… okay… I DO live in San Francisco, but don’t

get carried away here… I don’t think your family would

approve, dude.

So…

To swear or not to swear? That is the question.

Seriously, I think your question is important, although

maybe not for the reasons you might think.

Whether you “cuss” or not is irrelevant to success or

failure in pickup. What matters is being congruent with

who you are.

Game, as I’ve said many times, is at its essence the

expression of your inner state, conveyed by the rhythms

you use to direct the energy of the social interaction.

Congruence is key to this.

Congruence is why we are drawn to people of charisma.

For most people, there’s a gap between the persona that

they present to the world, and the true persona that

lies within them. For charismatic people, there is no

gap. They communicate on a very pure level, and people

are naturally attracted. We’re hardwired to respond to

this sort of communication.

Now, personally, my everyday language tends to be

peppered, if you will, with all sorts of coarse and

coloful epithets, interspersed among various

thesaurus-style SAT words. So for me, cursing is just a

natural way that I express myself. If I were to roll up

on some girls and start saying, “Gee whiz!” and “Aw,

shoot!” it might seem somewhat odd. Incongruent.

Now, obviously, there are situations where you might

want to consider censoring yourself, for example, when

at a dinner with high-ranking government dignitaries or

some shit.

It’s a matter of calibration.

The most important thing, however, is that you stay

true to who you are. If you don’t like to swear, then

using this type of language might actually work AGAINST

you.

Like a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

signifying nothing.

Hope that helps, Jon.

All right, ladies and gentlemen, it’s getting late and

I really should be going to sleep right now, so that’s

it for the mailbag today.

Before I go, I wanted to let you know that we’ve just

updated our schedule for upcoming LIVE, IN-FIELD Real

Social Dynamics Personalized Workshops and Bootcamps.

It’s no secret that our programs are one of the fastest,

most rewarding ways to accelerate you on the road to

becoming a master of social interactions. Without the

intense, personalized training you’ll receive during the

program, you could spend years and years improving

through trial and error.

These are the secrets that will ROCK your world, the stuff

the “naturals” would KILL to know.

With the program, you can jump the learning curve and

start enjoying a new life in a matter of DAYS, not

years.

It’s your life, and it’s ticking away every second.

If you’re hearing a voice in the back of your mind that

says, “Go for it!” then follow that instinct and learn

more about our upcoming programs by clicking here:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/seminars.asp

During your personalized bootcamp, you’ll be pushed to your

limits…

Then you’ll be pushed some more!

And the entire time, the RSD executive coaches will be there,

not only to provide you with intensely detailed feedback and

suggestions, but also to demonstrate what is REALLY possible.

To learn more about RSD Personalized Bootcamps, visit:

http://www.realsocialdynamics.com/bootcamps.asp

This is an investment that pays dividends for a LIFETIME.

Thanks again for reading our newsletter, and I’ll see you next

time with some more REAL-LIFE tips and tactics. Over and out.

All right, seriously, I gotta go to bed… until next

time, play on…

Sincerely,

Jeffy, Executive Coach

REAL SOCIAL DYNAMICS

PS…And don’t forget: if you have a question or

success story, Email it to me at: jlaix@realsocialdynamics.com

and I’ll answer it personally. I’ll provide the solution

to any challenge you can possibly put to me. Remember:

even if an obstacle seems “big” to you, our team has

probably faced it hundreds of times, so we can solve it

in a SNAP.

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____________________________________________________

Jeffy is an
Executive Coach for Real Social Dynamics. He has dated some of the world’s most desired women and travels around the world as a date coach for clients while teaching seminars on how to do the same. Real Social Dynamics have conducted Live Programs for thousands of clients, including Fortune 500 executives, celebrities, college students and professionals, from over 30 different countries. _________________________________________________________________

Copyright 2005 Real Social Dynamics Inc., All Rights Reserved. “Real Social Dynamics ” and “RSD” are trademarks used byReal Social Dynamics Inc.