How To Build Social Proof At Any Bar With Proper Bar Etiquette

As many of you guys may know, I have worked in the night club industry for many years. Working in night clubs allows you to see people at their best and at their worst. You get to really tap into the scene and see what some people are doing correctly and what some people are a little less than calibrated on.

If you really want to get in touch with the pulse of the nightlife scene, I can recommend nothing more strongly than working in a bar. But if you don’t want to actually work in a bar you can still get major social proof in a venue by becoming the guy that the staff loves and wants to keep coming back.

This kind of social proof from the staff of your favorite nightclub can gain you a lot of mileage, not to mention a lot of pussy as women are constantly observing the social status of everyone at the club that they get the chance to observe. Demonstrate that you’re an insider and belong to the social elite in the club, and you’ve gone a long way to getting her attracted before you even approach her. Trust me, she is observing all these subtle nuances and has an opinion of you before you even approach her.

So the moral here is: Get in good with the staff of your bar and you will find it much easier to get in her pants later.

That being said, I want to post a few bar etiquette tips:

1. When you approach the bartender or get his/her attention, BE READY TO ORDER! Know what you and your group wants to drink BEFORE approaching the bar. Especially in crowded venues, there is probably nothing that irritates a bartender more than the guy who gets his/her attention and isn’t ready to order. Never get the bartender’s attention and then turn to your friends and ask what they want. Do all this BEFORE approaching the bar.  Another irritating variation of this is known as the String Order where you order a drink then add on another…then another…over and over again (“I’ll have a vodka tonic…..oh and I want a shot of Tequila…Do you have Patron?  Ok…Oh…and another vodka tonic…and a Bud Light…Wait…No make that 2 Bud Lights…Actually, I like Corona…Change that to 2 Coronas…Susie, what do you want? She wants something fruity…”)
2. Bartenders hate guessing what you are going to like drinking. Let’s face it:  There is a huge variety of ways to get your buzz on that suits a variety of tastes.  There’s Beer, There’s Wine, There’s Liquor….and a whole array of mixers.  And bartenders have almost no way of knowing what you’re going to like best.  “Gimme something good & strong” is an annoying thing to order because it’s so subjective.  I personally like whiskey “neat” and dark beers. That doesn’t mean you’re going to like it even though it happens to be both “good & strong” to me.  Find a drink you like and stick to that till you have established enough rapport with the bartender that he can offer a suggestion. Bartenders don’t mind offering suggestions when it is not busy and they have a baseline for what kind of drink you typically enjoy.  Never start the interaction with your bartender with “What’s Good?”
3. Have your money ready.  You know you are going to be paying for your drinks you ordered, so why do some guys have to ask how much and then fumble around with their wallets after you receive the drinks.  When approaching the bar, have your means of payment (preferably cash!!) in your hand and ready to go.  If you are going to use your credit or debit card, have your I.D. in hand with your card and Always Start a Tab, even if you think you are only getting the one round.  Closing the same guy’s card over and over again takes time and to a bartender, the more time they spend closing out the same guys card over and over again, the more money they are missing out on elsewhere. Don’t fuck with the bartender’s money.  Close your tab only when you are about to leave the venue.  Also, don’t close out your tab right before last call.  Right before last call is often when a bartender makes most of his money.  Wait a few minutes until after last call to close it, or leave the bar awhile before last call.
4. Tip your bartender well! If you want excellent service and little waiting on a busy night, you better damn well be tipping your bartender generously.  An excellent way to build “social proof” in a bar is to be the guy at the back of the line who always gets his drinks before people at the front.  How do you become one of these guys?  You are either friends with the bartender outside of work, or you tip well and are not a pain in his ass.  If you are tipping at least a buck or two per drink or 20-30% of your tab you are probably tipping just fine.  One thing you can do to ensure great service all night is to give a very big tip on your first round and then normal tips on each subsequent rounds.  This works exceptionally well if you are setting up a tab. Remember, too…tipping well does not excuse you from doing other annoying things.
5. Offer to buy your bartender a drink.  Depending on bar policies they may or may not be able to take you up on this offer, but trust me…the offer is always appreciated and will help you stand out from the rest of the crowd.
6. Bring the security a bottled water or a Red Bull. Just like the aforementioned tip, the security staff spend long hours standing and often don’t get enough chances to get a drink.  The small gesture of bringing them a water or Red Bull goes a long way in making them remember you.
7. Don’t stand in walkway areas. A good friend of mine who has been doing security at some of the highest profile night clubs revealed that his number one pet peeve is telling guys who are standing in high traffic areas to keep moving.  It gets more and more annoying each time they have to tell you this.  If it’s an area that people are going to be mainly using to walk through, stand somewhere else.
8. Don’t try to have extended conversations when they are busy. If your bartender is good, (s)he is probably friendly and sociable.  If the bar is slow, feel free to chat up your bartender.  But if the bar is a bit busy, save the chatter for another time when it is slow.  It’s really annoying when someone is trying to chat you up when you have 25 people screaming for cocktails.
9. Don’t ask your bartender to “hook it up” or “pour it strong”.  One of the surest signs that someone is an amateur or cheapskate in the bar is to order a “strong” island iced tea or tell the bartender to make it strong.  How strong the drink is may be completely out of their hands depending on liquor laws, company policy, or inventory control.  There’s often ways for a bartender to get around things, but don’t ask for it up front. Would you give a stranger $20 just because they told you to give them a twenty?  The same goes for your bartender.  If you tip well and are not a pain in the ass, the bartender will more than likely hook it up naturally if there is a way for him/her to do so.
10. Don’t ask bone-headed questions that you could easily find the answer for. A pet peeve question, especially when I’m busy, is “What beers do you have on tap?”. Why?  because the taps are right there in front of you if you just took a second to look.  And I’m saying this is annoying when you have only a few items (for example the bar that has 6 beer taps).  Imagine going to a bar that had, 150 different beers and you were to ask your bartender what beers they have.  Do you honestly expect him/her to rattle off every last beer?  Either know what you like (most bars are going to have Bud Light or Jack Daniels or something common like this), take a look at what’s being displayed behind the bar, or ask for a menu.
11. Don’t order overly complicated drinks. Ok, I admit it.  I love a good mojito.  They are refreshing and delightful.  Come to my house and I will make you the best mojito you’ve ever tasted.  But if it’s even slightly busy in the bar:  Don’t order drinks like this!  They are a pain in the ass to make just right and often bars don’t carry the stuff to make them anyway, because of the time it takes to make them properly.  Along the same lines, don’t order obscure drinks that you aren’t sure the ingredients.  Sure the “Cum-Guzzling Crackwhore” might be the tastiest drink at your hole-in-the-wall bar in Little Rock, Arkansas but that doesn’t mean every bartender everywhere knows what it is.  Stick to simple drinks like Vodka & Tonic or Rum & Diet.  Your stomach will thank you as well, as sugar and alcohol don’t mix very well in your stomach.  When you’re getting sick because of all the Sex On The Beach cocktails you’ve drank you will wish you had heeded my advice here.
12. Have Fun! Hey, that’s what bars and night clubs are for.  If you are not having fun when you go out, then why are you even going out? The other night I was at a popular night club here in Las Vegas, and I was looking around the room and noticing how bored most people looked. If you don’t enjoy the venue you are in, go somewhere else. Find a bar or night club you like and frequent it.  Don’t be the guy in the corner standing with his beer pressed against his chest staring at the dancefloor because “you hate techno music”.  Go to the Rock Bar down the street, if that’s more your style.  Beyond that, remember that the “party” starts with you. Be the kind of person that has fun in all situations, regardless of venues. The best piece of advice for that is to just start interacting with everyone in sight.  Interacting with people IS fun!