Adonis – Cognitive Dissonance
July 11, 2009 by Adonis
To truly understand the process of seduction, a working understanding of the theory of Cognitive Dissonance is necessary. Cognitive Dissonance is caused when a person holds two or more conflicting or contradictory beliefs about the self. When this is experienced, it causes a person so much discomfort that they will typically rationalize one belief away. For example, a woman you have approached and attracted suddenly finds herself wanting to go to bed with you, but this conflicts with her idea of being a good girl or at least not a slut.
(Note: The term “slut” is a construct created by women to use as a weapon to lower other women’s social value. I have no misogynistic intentions in using this word. As previously stated, I believe women should be free to engage in any sexual acts she so desires without judgment.)
She then rationalizes that going home with you was “meant to be” or “fate” and therefore it is permissible for her to act on her impulses. Her cognitive dissonance has been removed.
Cognitive Dissonance is also why proper escalation is so effective. If she is complying with each of your escalations she will often possess two conflicting beliefs:
1) Things are rapidly getting more and more physical and intimate; and
2) Only an “easy” or “slutty” girl would allow rapid escalations to happen with someone they don’t really like. In order to abet her cognitive dissonance, she will rationalize to herself that she must really like you because she is definitely not easy or a slut.
Cognitive Dissonance is an important component of Sexual Framing. I will be covering the tools I actually use to Frame a Women Sexually in an upcoming article.
For More Advice On How To Use Cognitive Dissonance To Sexually Frame a Woman AND To Get The Girl Out Of The Bar & Into Your Bed The Same Night CLICK HERE
“I believe women hould be free to engage in any sexual acts she so desires without judgment.”
I dont buy that, why? because severe promiscuity is not healthy.
ex: if your 18 year old daughter told you that she wanted to go into porn to make money, would you tell her yes or no? would you start a family with a porn star?
if your 18 year old daughter goes out and sleeps with a different boy every week would you criticize her behavior?
do you sincerely believe that a women who has only had flings and one night stands to be able to commit, start a family and be faithfully monogamous?
if you are dating a “good girl” (or so you thought) and then found out that she did engage in orgies and lots of one night stand would that bother you?
we all have the right to judge in our minds but not the right to pass sentence…if I know you for a year and I realize after a year that you are a selfish, narcisstic SOB then I have to right to think “from my opinion and experience, adonis is an SOB” hypothetically speaking though I m sure in real life you are not
best
My response:
“I dont buy that, why? because severe promiscuity is not healthy. ”
Severe promiscuity in and of itself is not unhealthy, but high-risk, unsafe sexual behavior is (regardless of whether the acts are promiscuous or not). I have a very strict condom rule. This is non-negotiable. I insist on safer sexual experiences when I am involved. Being promiscuous in and of itself doesn’t necessarily equate being “unhealthy”.
Not to mention the fact that there are things that are far more unhealthy she could be doing: Should I judge her for smoking? That’s far more unhealthy (not to mention kinda gross), but it’s a personal decision.
Besides, I believe regular sex to be part of a healthy lifestyle as has been medically shown in repeated studies.
“if your 18 year old daughter told you that she wanted to go into porn to make money, would you tell her yes or no?”
This is her decision. I have known several porn stars and starlets (and yes had sex with many of them…don’t judge :-p ) and they run the gambit of psychological “healthiness” but this is a lifestyle and profession they have chosen.
Who am I to say that they shouldn’t be able to make their living doing something they enjoy? So few people enjoy what they do…
Also, I don’t have a daughter or any children for that matter, nor do I want any at this point so it is kind of irrelevant. But if I did, I would support their personal decisions.
“would you start a family with a porn star?”
Would I “start a family” with anyone!? At this point in my life, No. Starting a family does not interest me in the least bit at the moment.
But as previously mentioned, I have had relations with porn stars before and so her career is not as big of a discriminating factor as other things.
“if your 18 year old daughter goes out and sleeps with a different boy every week would you criticize her behavior?”
Once again, I don’t have a daughter, but if I did I would hope she is practicing safe sex when she is engaging in this kind of behavior and I would definitely teach her about practicing safe sex…..but engaging in this behavior is a decision only she can make.
“do you sincerely believe that a women who has only had flings and one night stands to be able to commit, start a family and be faithfully monogamous?”
Do I care if she can commit, start a family and be faithfully monogamous? No, I’m not interested in that at the moment…
Do I think women that don’t engage in one night stands and flings are better able to be monogamous? No…I have had enough “experience” with the “good girl” types who were in serious committed relationships to know that their proclivity to have sex outside their “primary” relationship is not necessarily the only determining factor on whether they will “step outside”.
There are far more compelling factors that are far more likely to cause this. It’s in our genetic code. Don’t believe me? Read Nancy Friday’s “My Secret Garden” or Robin Baker’s “Sperm Wars”.
“if you are dating a “good girl” (or so you thought) and then found out that she did engage in orgies and lots of one night stand would that bother you?”
No…Even the “good girl” has a naughty side….so this kind of behavior is scarcely shocking to me. Women LOVE sex! They are genetically hard-wired to do so for the survival of the gene code.
In my experience, Quite often when it comes to One Night Stands and such it IS the “good girl” who I will be engaging in them with me. I have finally set her free from society’s rules and judgments and this feels good. She has an inner longing to behave as she has always had urges to do but couldn’t due to fear of judgment. I give her these experiences.
“we all have the right to judge in our minds but not the right to pass sentence…”
We certainly do, but I don’t see the point in passing judgment on this essential aspect of normal, healthy living.
“if I know you for a year and I realize after a year that you are a selfish, narcisstic SOB then I have to right to think “from my opinion and experience, adonis is an SOB” hypothetically speaking though I m sure in real life you are not
”
Haha…you would probably be judging correctly in this case
And I’m cool with that.
thank you for answering my question Adonis but I think you missed the point. the point is, what if one day I say that I want to settle down with a women and have a monogamous relationship, (i.e. get married) and start a family….then a woman’s past will matter. (also the man as well to a certain degree ex: guy who visist prostitues and has an addiction like some women are sex addicts)
If a person goes to the bank to borrow money and he has defaulted on every loan in the past years or has a shacky and rocky history, then the bank won’t lend him the money.
I personally think guys who are looking to get married and have a family should do the same due diligence when they want to commit their energy, time and money to a women.
“Severe promiscuity in and of itself is not unhealthy,” who told you it is not unhealthy from a psychological standpoint?
“Should I judge her for smoking? ”
If I want to get married and start a family, I want my wife to be a non-smoker…is that a judgment? I m not saying toe judge as in to say what is “a good person or a bad person” but as in taking a decision. If a guy wants to marry a virgin because he thinks that’s will be a better choice for him (though I don’t recommend that either) it’s his decision.
“Do I care if she can commit, start a family and be faithfully monogamous? No, I’m not interested in that at the moment… ”
and let’s say you become interested in that? what then? dont you want a women who will be able to control her libido if you go out of town for a week or two?
“if your 18 year old daughter told you that she wanted to go into porn to make money, would you tell her yes or no? Adonis:This is her decision.”
but what if she wanted to know your opinion about it too?
“There are far more compelling factors that are far more likely to cause this. It’s in our genetic code.”" Women LOVE sex! They are genetically hard-wired to do so for the survival of the gene code.”
I read both books (and I even recommend you “Women’s infidelity” by michelle langely) but that doesnt mean that primiscuity aint in our control…flying planes is not genetic or natural, wearing glasses too.
when men want to choose long term partners and start a steady family, it’s better to chose someone who has better impulse control than someone who is guided by his emotions and hormones dont you think?
best
Hey, its is a great day here in the Coast of … in the Pacific and I’ve just watched the video of Mystery getting slapped and rejected continuously over there in the USA. Before I go into my (A real life Slut, Psychologist and stuff) analysis if the word “slut” and its major uses for its users I’d say that, Mystery and his Pick-up Artists taken alone have not and in fact the whole seduction community along with PUAs and Speed Seducers are still not there yet. Provided that the art of seduction is a simple one at that, their nonsense is only laughed at by us French who do things properly.
I believe that, the word “Slut” mentioned above is a emotional anchor in women made for her by other women who are extremely or so UGLY that, the ugly women have a chance at life with a husband. If you know what I mean then, you know why it is important to do so and have such a social anchor as well but, as far as us PUAs are concerned though, we have a very high disregard for its use.
I think that, if we carry our self in a way that denotes the dislike of the word slut used in any context then, women will find us naturally more whatever-they-think but, as I saw with the Cory Skyy – Magnetic Mindset program from http://www.badboywithaheart.com or http://www.coryskyy.com is that, women approach you for random day and night time sex. This brings us to the point of being interesting as much as Mystery (a. k. a. Eric Horvat Marcovich) is with his routine use of “Attraction Magic tricks by David Copernicus” in his Sarges. Come to think of it, the women you do those major ticks for are not as interesting as enough by them selfs to deserve that either. Which, then makes the whole Mystery method a bit of lies as we all know now due to its high in-effectivity by it self.